you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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