god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
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