We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize