Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
