I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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