i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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