You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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