nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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