Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
