you lied. pity sex is amazing.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
is it fun? or sober?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
