we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
