I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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