3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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