Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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