He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
