He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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