If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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