Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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