32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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