I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize