Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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