I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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