I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
