I got chris browned last night
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
