I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
