I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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