ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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