dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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