I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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