I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
