I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
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