im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
