this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
