He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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