**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
