I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
