You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
