Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i barfeds in our rink
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I believe in your delicious
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
