so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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