but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
