A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
