I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
