I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We left the knife in your bed.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
