my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
This house was built for laser tag.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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