just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
