This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize