I love black thongs
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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