well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
