Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
