you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
