Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
