And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
