Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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