Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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