I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
its liver damage thursday
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
