I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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