he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize