I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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