Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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