I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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