I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
