ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I have feelings that need drinking.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize