on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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