4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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