Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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