Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
