What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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