Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Randomize
