how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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