Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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